This first date has been everything I ever thought that magical first dates were like. I felt swept off my feet and at the same time oddly grounded. I enjoyed thinking about our first, slightly uneasy laughs, that turned in to pure comfort.
I felt very open. This was a first. I felt like this guy was amazing, and I was not afraid to see him again. I was not afraid to let him see my world, to know what makes me tick. It was very a very odd concept for me—> be completely open and unafraid of being hurt or rejected. I do not know why, but it was like this. And when he hugged me I did not feel like I was suffocating, I did not try to avoid being held, or holding his hand, I just enjoyed it. It was nice. It was a new me; a Happy me; a free me; my walls were not there anymore. And if I felt the slightest bit of fear, I would meditate and reflect…….let go or fear, let go of insecurity, let love and light in—> breathe!!!
This date and the 3 days that followed, talking, laughing, sharing and just being real……it was heavenly. How had I not realized that this was out there, this kind man, these kind of feelings? As I asked myself I realized that I was not the same person. I had evolved, I was becoming the best version of me, that is why I never knew this life of pure feelings and love of all simple things. This cop/farmer, he was incredible. We were us so easily and readily. I am positive, the long wait, and the wandering through a crazy dating world was worth it. It was not obsession, nor some kind of unhealthy attachment; we very simply fell so deeply in love without a single moment of hesitancy. My heart constantly felt as though it would explode, and it still does. I am so positively excited for myself and for each one of you reading this; I am excited that this kind of love exists. If you do not have it, you have to discover yourself , learn to love yourself first. Put the work in, put the time in. Only then will you be able to love another so deeply, and accept this kind of love in return.