Begin Again

I woke up the next morning with a bit of a headache. I awkwardly tried to do the few yoga stretches that I had seen, it looked nothing like the stuff on TV. Ha. The book…May Cause Miracles. It was 40 days of reading, journaling and meditating. I could try this, it would be simple…..and then I began. There was all this discussion about turning the “horrible things” that people had done to you, in to “acts of love”. WHAT?!?!?!? Wow, I thought this is not going to work. And write a list of your biggest fears. These things seemed ridiculous. I figured I try. That day I also tried to figure out how this divorce would work. I sat down and wrote an email out several times. It simply outlined a very equitable and amicable severing of an eight year marriage. I really thought it would be cut and dry like that BOY was I wrong.
Over the next week I spent time with my bestie’s mom and family. Trying to make her comfortable, thinking at times I would fall apart, watching her waste away and at the same time being in awe of her persistence. It was heartbreaking, amazing, inspiring, and life changing. She was one of the most incredible women I had ever met.
At the same time I was sweating, and gasping for air on walks, and difficultly doing some yoga. Downward Dog was about one of my only talents. Nonetheless I continued to try. I ate well, exercised and did my journaling. I felt so alive.
I sent the email to my soon to be ex-husband. I wondered what the response would be.
My bestie and I had the greatest talks. She gave me the strength I needed to realize I was so much more than I had become. I really felt alive. I was glowing and shredded about 25 pounds. I was happy in my favorite corner of the world. Wouldn’t you be?

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